Wait, are you telling me the year I was born is over tomorrow? Good luck trumping me, 2015!
Vacations and Days off don’t happen for stay at home parents. As a SAHM I’m accepting a vacation really just means you’re doing your job in a different place and it’s most likely harder. When we traveled to St Thomas M did amazing. Even so, routines were off and therefore she was usually overtired before she fell asleep. This means my job was harder because she fought sleep, ended up hungry/tired at the same time (more than once) and then when we returned home it took quite a bit of time getting back into the routines that she had established before we disrupted them. It’s just the way it is sometimes. But it kills me.
For me it’s hard not to get irritated when everything is thrown outta whack. During the week we have a great thing going. It’s predictable, even when it’s unpredictable. I am SO flexible! I can easily change plans because it doesn’t usually affect anyone but the two of us. When it does it’s usually with another stay at home parent that completely understands sometimes the baby decides to eat or sleep at a different time or take longer to fall asleep than usual or we both just need to get out of the house NOW (instead of 30 min from now) so we all change plans accordingly. It’s even ok if we go out by ourselves or our plans get canceled all together. Our lives revolve around the baby’s natural schedule and that’s ok. We know we have to wait to shower until nap time and if we want to grab lunch out or do an activity we have a precise amount of time to do it before the baby needs to be back home to wind down/eat and prepare for another nap. If the child takes a 10 min snooze on the way to or from an activity that means we’ve just missed any chance of a nap when we get home. Anyone else in the WILL NOT TRANSFER WELL/AT ALL stage? Same goes for if we waited 30 minutes too long. Then we have a bed time battle that usually ends with tears for everyone. We do what we do because it makes our job easier!
What kills me is when I know something can be avoided. 99% of the time it can be and it is. I know life happens but I also know what my baby needs and how to meet it. Things run so smoothly 99% of the time. it’s hard not to get frustrated when things don’t go so smoothly the other 1%. I’m failing terribly as a mother and wife that 1%. I try over and over and I pray for peace and strength. I know it’s given but I fail to accept it and hold on to it. Instead I snap. Snap at loved ones who are only trying to help. Help without any knowledge of how smoothly things run the other 99% of the time. Help because I ask for it because my head needs help. Others only see me lying because my actions show I don’t want it and would rather do it all myself because I believe the lie that it’s easier that way. I’m failing but trying to learn to let others help. Even if I have to do everything all over again or soothe a screaming baby again and again because things weren’t done as per usual and we fell into that 1% again.
Being a stay at home parent means you may be able to keep things running smoothly 99% of the time but it’s also means realizing you need others more than just 1%. Learn to accept the help and stop wishing others could make it run as smooth as you. It’ll be different and your job may be harder but just think how much harder it’d be if you didn’t have any help at all ever.
So even though sometimes it feels like vacations, holidays, travel or moving bring more work, embrace the extra work. Pass out tasks to those around you willing to help. Recognize and accept life may run a little less smoothly and there may be a lot more crying from everyone involved. Think about the alternative. It probably wouldn’t run as smoothly as you think either. At least this way others are involved in your child’s life and you may even be able to go to the bathroom alone. Take it. That in and of itself is worth the extra work later. Lol