So as my usual followers probably have noticed I don’t post as often as I used to. In fact sometimes my weekly Monday post is late or forgotten all together. My blogging life has changed. I’m not one of those writers where writing comes easily. Actually that’s not a very good statement. Writing doesn’t always come easy or naturally to a lot of writers. I guess what I mean is when I used to blog it was usually because something is burning in my soul and at that very moment I sit down and work through it by writing. Since having M I’ve still had those moments when I wish I could drop everything and write.
Unfortunately it’s not that simple with a baby. Now I have to put those thoughts or feelings to the side until M’s asleep or self entertaining and I have a moment to write. You know what, though? I just don’t have the same passion and I just can’t write about a burning in my soul that’s no longer burning. So many of these thoughts or feelings I need to sort through are instead getting pushed away only to resurface later in hopes to be surfacing at time I have a moment to figure them all out.
The thing is I can’t drop everything and I don’t want to drop everything. When M is awake I want to be engaging with her not writing. When she’s sleeping at night I usually go to bed and choose to sleep shortly after her. During naps I could write, and sometimes I do, but all us moms know how much stuff is staring us in the eye to get accomplished during those precious, but never long enough, naps. So I guess you could say writing is a priority for me right now. I know plenty of amazing writers who NEED to write. I’ve always done it as a way to sort stuff out. I guess there are days I’ll still wish I had taken the time to write but if it ever comes down to spending another moment with M or sorting my feelings out through writing, right or wrong, I’m going to choose time with my daughter. I admire those who can do both and wish I had that ability. Unfortunately I’m one of those that if I don’t write when the passion is on my mind and in my heart well then it just doesn’t come out and I’m ok with that.
So if you don’t see a blog post for awhile this is why. I do hope to make time soon to write about yesterday. I went to a women’s conference and Paul watched Marijka most of the day. We all survived but boy is it hard being away from your child. Trust me that’s an entire other post.