Whole lotta firsts

Whew it’s been over a week since I posted. We’ve been busy busy busy. Went to visit my family in Indiana and just returned home Sunday. We had a three hour delay going out of Boston and an hour delay coming back home. Thankfully I have one awesome traveling companion and Marijka did great despite all the set backs.

Once we arrived in Indiana we had an amazing week. I started out trying to keep M’s home routine but that lasted a whole day or two and then I threw it all out the window. Her vacation bedtime was around 9-10pm and she ended up napping in the car and Grandma’s arms a lot. On vacation you just have to go with the flow and hope for the best. Now this week we are working on getting back to falling asleep in a crib and on our own but we’ll get there over time.

Aside from recovering from vacation M is trying to grasp all she’s learned the last week. She can now sit up (mostly unassisted). She’s been playing with toys while sitting for the last few days. Each day she lasts longer and longer before tipping over. She’s even got the cognitive awareness to reach out one hand when she starts to tip. She looks so big sitting up all by herself. If makes me think, “Where has my baby gone?”

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Paul and I think she even reached out her hands Monday night for me. It was hard to tell if it was just coincidence or not and she was getting upset so we didn’t wait to see if she did it again.

Marijka also tried some food on vacation. We let her suck on a melon and she seemed to like it! Today I gave her some of my peach and I could tell she wanted more! When I try to give her small pieces she usually spits them back out. That’s because she’s not really ready for that yet but I figured I’d give it a try. Later this week I’m going to offer her some purée fruits and veggies. Man, our grocery bill is going to increase when this girl starts eating consistently. I picked up some green beans at the farmers market today and some peaches, plums, and bananas at the store yesterday. I also have some avocado purée frozen waiting for her to try.

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We’ve been enjoying some reading since returning home. My cousin wrote a book and gave us a copy while we were home. She also gave Marijka a storybook bible which we have been reading together. She’s already gotten ahold of the page about God creating the water, sky, and land. It’s a bit wrinkled now but I figure it’s her bible and it should look well loved. :)

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I know this is just the beginning of many more first but hopefully she’ll slow down a bit. Paul and I were just talking about how quickly time is going. It was just yesterday she was was coming home from the hospital. Monday we visited the same friends who visited us 5 months ago, as they welcomed there 3rd baby (first son) into the world.

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Marijka Monday- baptism

This week we are visiting my family in Indiana. After a 3 hour delayed flight in Boston we finally made it to my family’s around 8pm Sat night. I’m so blessed and thankful for Marijka. She is the best traveller. The 3 hours didn’t bother her a bit and she snoozed at the airport and then again on the plane. She woke up and was so good when I got to visit with friends who flew into Chicago. Sadly, due to the delay our visit was cut from 4 hours down to 1, but it was still awesome seeing everyone. We hadn’t all been together in over 10years!

This morning, in my parent’s field, M was baptized. It was the perfect location for such a special event. Both sides of our immediate family were able to attend, along with a couple close, family friends. We had a professional photographer but here are a few photos family captured.

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We are having a great time in Indiana.

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Avoidable situation…or not?

How many moms out there know their babies? Now that’s a silly question isn’t it? A momma knows her babies more than anyone else, right? We are the ones with them more than anyone else. We see what makes them happy, what makes them sad, and know just what to do to avoid (most) meltdowns.

(I write mom in this post, but want to clarify this is usually true for whomever the primary care taker is.)

I think it’s safe to say most moms do their best to be proactive. They see the early signs of their children’s needs and act accordingly to get those needs met before it’s too late. Sometimes this means laying them down for a nap at the first eye rub or yawn. Sometimes it means preparing lunch and offering it before the child runs in crying they are “sooooo hungry.” Sometimes it simply means knowing the child’s triggers and helping avoid them or prepare them for transitions long before anyone else notices the need.

What about when the avoidable isn’t avoided? Then what? How do you react when your child’s upset or hurt by a situation that could have been avoided? I don’t know about you, but this is something I’ve been struggling with lately.

It’s easy to get caught up in the “but if you’d just done this, this could/would have been avoidable”. It’s easy to say yell, “I do this everyday, this situation is avoidable.” What do those words do though? Are they lifting up or tearing down? Do they make a difference? Probably not. How would I feel if someone told me these things?

But, but, but… these situations really can be avoidable by you, the caregiver who’s there and sees it avoided time and time again. Life happens and, sure, maybe others should listen to you and follow your guide because you’ve experienced more and seen it happen another way. BUT that doesn’t always happen does it? Others come in, plans change, meltdowns ensue and that’s life.

I’m trying to practice weighing the pros and cons of the avoidable situation. Does the person in your life who can’t seem to avoid the avoidable quite like you, try their best? Do they love your child as much as you? Do they just want to spend the few precious moments they have with that baby just like you would if you were in their shoes?

Sometimes I try to put myself in others shoes and it really helps. I don’t know what I’d do if I only got to spend 2 full days and a handful of weeknight hours with my baby girl. If I had to work all day outside the home and come home and my daughter was already in bed for the night it’d break my heart. I, too, would go in kiss her forehead, and risk the chance of waking her just to see that smile or even hear that sweet cry just one more time.

Avoidable situations or not, sometimes we have to remember there are many people in our children’s lives and they may not know them the same way as us but they love them just as much! It’s not the end of the world if occasionally the avoidable isn’t avoided. 9/10 it will be and the 1/10 your child and you will move on from it on to the next thing.

I just want to clarify I’m not talking about safety/avoiding teachable moments/growing opportunities. I’m a firm believer children need to have time and space to figure things out and sometimes fail. They’ll learn from their choices and continue to grow and make better ones as time goes on.
If it comes down to safety obviously everyone will/should try to avoid dangerous situations.

This post is more related to basic needs needing to be met in a timely manner. Meeting them proactively verses reacting to an already upset child who was clearly giving the person who spends the most time with them signs of the need long before a meltdown ensued.

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