So long ago 

it seems so long ago yet it wasn’t really. Those days when I wondered if I’d ever be where I am now… If I’d ever be a mom. The hope, the fears, the longing, the uncertainty. So many emotions were displayed over those 3 years. It feels like a dream now. 

As my days are full of entertaining a toddler. Wearing a baby wherever I go,  Cleaning spaces in the apartment over and over, wiping a beautiful face, changing diapers, wrestling a toddler into clothes every single morning, every time we need take the dog out, and after every single diaper change. I’m ready for bed the moment she falls asleep. I stay awake because it’s the only time Paul and I have together, alone, anymore. It seems as though morning arrives just as I’m finally closing my eyes. 

13 months and she’s still breastfed. I don’t know why but she always wants me. Only me. I thought it was a phase but it’s never passed. As her Aunt said after seeing her this weekend, She’s never met a stranger and loves people. She’s very social and interactive. That said, when she’s hurt, she looks for me, tired, hungry, uncertain, she wants (needs) me. When anyone else tries to take her she loses her mind. You’d think she was being tortured. I had no idea how attached my daughter would be to me. I always wanted to be a mom. I am now a mom who’s always wanted. 

The days are long and the sleep is short. She’s worth it. I’m tired and could use 5 min (really 24hrs, but I’d take a few minutes). I take 5 minutes to remember what it was like before. Those 3 years when I longed and my heart ached for this. I hoped and prayed one day I’d hold my baby in my arms. Each and every day I get to hold my baby in my arms. I get to wear my baby, clean up her messes, wipe her face, change those diapers, and I get to wrestle my strong willed, very opinionated little lady into clothes every morning, after every diaper change and into a jacket to take out the dog over and over all day long. 

My daughter. I get to do all these things with my girl. 3 years ago I wondered if I’d ever be here. Today I couldn’t imagine life any other way. 

   

     

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Little victories 

Today I’m inspired by a friend to celebrate little victories. This friend’s husband recently fell off a roof while shoveling snow off it and is in a medical induced coma. She is celebrating what she calls a little victory (its not really so little of a victory) that he wiggled his toes for the first time. He has a LONG road ahead but with each new victory he’s one step closer to a (hopefully) full recovery. 

Today’s little victories are (in no particular order) M drinking from a straw, a smooth transition to whole milk, and slowly beginning to wean herself! Unrelated to milk she’s also SO close to taking her first step! 

Of course my daughter’s first time efficiently drinking from a straw would be sipping a shamrock shake from McD’s. (I drank many of these while I was pregnant).



 I’ve given her a straw a few times and she always just chewed on it. She never even tried to suck it. Similar to many other areas of development she seemed to figure this out overnight. One day she couldn’t and the next day she did it proficiently. I went out and bought a few straw sippy cups so she can continue to practice. It’s so fun at a restaurant being able to share our water now. Just yesterday Paul gave her the straw and she sucked down some of his water. 

For a few weeks now she’s been drinking whole milk. Once she figured out the regular sippy cup (not until about a month or two ago) I put whole milk in it. I wasn’t sure if she’d drink it but she loved it! Once she got the hang of drinking from a sippy cup she didn’t seem to care what was in it. It seems like she really likes milk though. I started out just offering it whenever she had meals. I still nursed her the same amount of times and began to wonder if she’d ever slow down nursing during the day. Well that day has arrived! It may be a little premature but she seems to be nursing less often during the day. I now make sure I offer her whole milk at 2 of her 3 main meals and any other time I feel is a good opportunity. She’s not drinking more than probably 2-3oz a day but it’s a good start. 

Yesterday she nursed at 830am and then not again until after 4pm! She drank whole milk a few times in between. The days before that she only nursed 3 or 4 times. I feel like we are on our way to simply morning and evening nursing sessions. 

Since her 12 month shots her (finally) good sleeping habits have been interrupted. I don’t know if there’s any correlation with her nursing less/waking up more often but last night was one of her better nights since her shots. We also were back home and she was in her own bed so that may have been part of it too. We have a lot of traveling coming up so hopefully it wasn’t about not being at home. We’ll see…

So much is happening right now. She’s also beginning to let go while standing and stand up independently. She’s working on the confidence to take that first step. Or more likely trying to remember to balance/ have patience because she wants to run. There are so many little victories. Now if I can remember these when it’s been a long day or a rough night. She’s a busy, growing baby and beginning to look (and act) more and more like a toddler every day. (Tear) 





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A birthday in pictures

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